Before you jump over your internet connection and pummel me — hear me out. I don’t mean “fat” as in, “You are fat.” I mean “fat” as in YOUR PERSONAL version of fat. For some that means the extra five pounds you gained over winter. For others “fat” is when you can’t fit into your favorite jeans anymore – or – when you finally reach the bottom of your Costco barrel of cheese puffs.
The bottom line is: I don’t think you’re fat — but you probably do.
If this resonates with you, then read on. If not, please disregard everything I am about to say. Which is … trying to lose weight before your wedding is the worst idea ever, and here’s why:
1. THE STRESS
In case you hadn’t heard, wedding planning can be a bit stressful. Like, pee-on-a-stick-because-your-period-is-late-and-it’s-either-due-to-pregnancy-or-stress, stress. (Trust me, this can happen.) Adding more stress to your life is not a good idea at this time, and losing weight the healthy way takes a lot of extra patience, time and effort. If working out relaxes you, then by all means, do it! But don’t kill yourself in the gym just because if you don’t lose 10 pounds your maid of honor will be thinner than you. Stay healthy — not crazy.
2. THE DRESS
Some brides have an instant “love connection” with their dress. They’ve had it picked out for years, they dream about it, they take long moon-lit walks on the beach hand-in-sleeve with their dress. But then there’s brides like me. I didn’t experience any of those things. I picked a dress that I liked, that looked good on me, and then I thought “if this looks good now, it will look even BETTER when I lose ten pounds.” Then when the seamstress asked me if the dress was too snug (which it was), I said no. Oh. Dear. Lord. How. Foolish. I. Was.
Granted, the dress still looked good — from the front. But after 3 fittings, 4 pounds of last minute stress weight GAIN and a bottle of champagne (to dull the pain, obviously), my zipper popped about 30 minutes before the ceremony. If it wasn’t for one of my amazing bridesmaids (who sewed me into my dress) I would have had to get married in a Gwar t-shirt. Your dress needs you to be consistent. If you weigh 160 on the day of your last fitting, you need to make sure you weigh the same on your wedding day (plus or minus a couple).
3. THE MAN
Congratulations! You found an amazing man who wants to keep you around for the rest of his life! And he loves you at the size you are RIGHT NOW. Weight can be a very touchy subject in both healthy and not-so-healthy relationships, and this is not the time to pepper him with questions about what he “really” thinks about your body (is there EVER a time for that?). He’s going to marry you whether you spend an extra hour on the treadmill or not.
4. THE DEADLINE
If you don’t listen to anything I say, please hear me on this … trying to lose weight when there’s a deadline (your wedding day) can be VERY dangerous both mentally and physically. Some argue that using deadlines can be motivating, and it can. But these “weight checkpoint” deadlines don’t have hundreds of man hours and thousands, or tens of thousands, of dollars riding on them. The door for rash actions and dangerous habits can be opened when a bride has invested so much physical and mental energy into dieting and exercise, but hasn’t reached her goal — and only has 2 weeks left. You’re mental health is far more important than any wedding dress. Even a Vera Wang.
5. THE REBOUND
Whether in the form of a honeymoon or extra days off of work, in most cases a period of relaxation follows a wedding. And relaxing doesn’t usually involve avoiding your favorite foods like the plague or throwing in an extra Zumba class everyday. What does this mean? It means you should pack extra clothes in the size you were when you got engaged, because weight lost quickly is also weight gained quickly. This isn’t inevitable, but it does happen.
Oh, and one other thing — have you ever noticed how a bride ALWAYS looks beautiful? Seriously. Every. Single. Time. It’s because she found a partner that she loves so much she is willing to stand up and declare it in front of all the most important people in her life (and even a few cranky great-aunts). It is not because she weighs 120 pounds.
With all this said, I am not a doctor and am in no way condoning ignoring a healthy diet and exercise while you are in the midst of wedding planning. But, please take it from me, focus on your health NOT your weight and you will have an amazing wedding day.
We sure had a great week here at MarryThis! Here’s a summary of this week’s highlights: