Some of us love our coworkers like family. And others of us … not so much. But when you spend at least eight hours a day with people, some personal news is bound to get out. Enter February’s Ask MarryThis! question about workplace wedding news.
I recently got engaged. And while I’m elated to share this news with my family and friends, I’m a little less happy to share this news with my coworkers. One, I hate being the center of attention and two, I don’t want to reveal any details of the wedding since I’m sort of a private person. In the past, when one of my coworkers have gotten engaged, everyone makes a huge deal about it and seems to suck up to get an invitation. And it works! I’m so self-conscious about this situation that I haven’t worn my ring at work nor have I told any of my close work friends. I know I can’t hide this news forever but I totally feel like I want to hide under a rock. What should I do? – Anna of Dallas, Texas
Sara: I totally get that you’re a private person, but getting engaged is an exciting time! You don’t have to scream it from the rooftops, but you also shouldn’t keep it totally hidden. Put that stunner on your finger and wear it proudly — when your coworkers ask, tell them in a friendly way: “Yes! I’m engaged!” and leave it at that. You’re entitled to your privacy, but having to hide something so exciting will cast a shadow over this exciting time in your life.
Amy: I’m definitely not a center-of-attention type of girl, so I feel your pain. However, I agree with Sara, it’s OK to wear your ring and be happy that you are engaged at work! If your co-workers are nosy about this new rock, be straightforward and honest. Just say thanks for the congratulations and move onto the next subject. And if your co-workers are getting pushy for an invite, just say that the wedding is small or that it’s just for family and friends. And if they are crazy pushy, you could also get all bridezilla on them, but that might make for an awkward next day…
Allison: To me, it sounds like you’re more worried about saying “no” than boasting about your good news. I spent many years fearing the dreaded “no” and allowed myself to be taken advantage of many times because of it. Stand your ground, girl! “No” does not have to be mean. You can definitely achieve truth from a safe distance with friends and coworkers. One of my favorite quotes on this topic (from Oprah, of course): “Love someone enough to tell them the truth, and respect them enough to know they can handle it.” Now go put that gorgeous rock on your finger and accept those warm fuzzies from your co-workers proudly! And if and when they start fishing for an invitation you’ll know the perfect thing to say … the truth. 🙂
What the MarryThis! team is thinking about this month…
Sara: Escaping winter weather on a beach somewhere warm, The Language of Flowers (OMG, so good!), Emoji
Amy: The Black Keys (yes, I came to the bandwagon way later than everyone else), Serious Eats Chicago and Pret A Manger
Allison: Hi Hat Cupcakes, annual Valentine’s Day fondue dinner with my husband, house hunting preparation (what do I even WANT in a house?)
Horrible future mother-in-law? Not sure what budget-friendly means for a city wedding? Tell us your problems and we’ll do our best to come up with a solution. Three minds are better than one, right? Ask MarryThis! is a monthly feature, so send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org.