All posts tagged Ask MarryThis!

Ask MarryThis!:
Umm, I don’t dance, mmkay?

by Allison on June 5, 2012 in Inspired Ideas with 4 Comments

Failblog.org

Today we tackle a lesser-known wedding issue — a bride that doesn’t dance. While personally, I’m a dance fiend, I TOTALLY get it. Can you imagine if your least favorite thing to do was just EXPECTED at your wedding? What if every wedding involved public speaking, or entertaining your annoying estranged sister or fake smiling at your boss? Oh wait … minus the sister, I did ALL of those things at my wedding! Hmmmmm.

Anywhooo, this month’s question is from the lovely Jess Livezey who is currently in the midst of her own wedding planning that you can read all about here.

Dear MarryThis!,
“The only time I’ve ever danced unchoreographed was on my 21st birthday, and that’s only because I had some liquid courage. [My mom] said that people come to a wedding and expect to dance, which is fine, but I really want to find a way to get everyone to have a good time and mingle without a dance floor being the only option. I’ve seen ideas with board games and such, but I worry that it would isolate different groups — do you have any (budget friendly) suggestions? I just don’t want to spend 2+ hours dodging requests to shake my groove thang!”
- Jess

Sara Gray Photography

Dear Jess,

You have such lucky wedding guests! There is usually a significant portion of people at weddings who aren’t big on dancing either, so preparing separate activities will be a big relief to you AND your peeps! Here are a few non-dancing ideas:

Those who cant do, teach.

For those non-groovy guests, why not consider hosting a short dance lesson before the official dancing starts? We did this at my wedding and it was a huge hit! We hired a few dancers from a local studio to come for an hour and teach 3 different box-steps. This worked particularly well at our wedding because we played 1940s music all night, and most people under 30 don’t know how to actually dance without shaking their booty. (Not that I’m against a good booty dance.)

A dance lesson will put everyone on the same level, and will give your non-dancing guests a pass on feeling goofy since everyone is learning at the same time.

Bunco.

Still too much dancing? Try finding a game that has no player limit. I LOVE bunco. Bunco is a dice game that can have 4 people or 400. The BEST part is that you have to change partners every round, so this game would also be a great icebreaker for your guests to get to know each other a little better. All you need are dice, tables and chairs (and maybe a few small prizes for the winners)! How cheap is that? Here’s a great video tutorial on how to play. Bunco is a very high-paced, exciting game — the faster you roll, the more points you get, so there’s no time for awkward small talk.

Rich Reed

Dinner and a show.

Giving your guests extra stuff to watch will also ease the pressure to dance. Look into hiring a local comedian or a non-cheesy magician to go around and do a few small tricks for each table (the kids would LOVE this).

Do you have any loud, outgoing friends? (I DO!) One word: karaoke. Only a few people actually like to sing, but EVERYONE likes to watch — it’s like ‘America’s Got Talent’ up in here!

Get back to the basics.

When you boil everything down, it’s really good energy and conversation that turns a good wedding into a great one. Don’t forget the importance of a well-planned seating arrangement. You are the only one who knows each and every guest, so use your best judgement and put like personalities together. Even with additional activities, think of your seating arrangement as the foundation of your party.

Well, readers? Do you have any awesome non-dancing activities? Let’s leave more ideas for Jess in the comments below! I hope this helps, Jess! Thanks so much for your question, and thanks for reading!

XO, Allison

Are you having a wedding crisis? I’m here to help! Send your questions to allison@marrythis.com!

Ask MarryThis!:
Bridal Party Blues

by Amy on April 16, 2012 in MarryThis! with No comments

It’s the quality not the quantity that counts in this month’s question…

bridesmaid

My fiancé and I just had our first big compromise in wedding planning. My fiancé has five buddies from high school and college that he wants to ask as groomsmen. I, on the other hand, have a smaller set of friends and only really have three close friends that I would even consider asking to be a bridesmaid. Although we’ve tried to compromise on a number (four right now), I am still one bridesmaid short. Should I try asking someone else even though I don’t really feel that close to them to make the wedding party even? Is it awkward to have an uneven set of groomsmen and bridesmaids? – Jenna of Baltimore, M.D.

Allison: First, congratulations on your compromise! It will be the first in a long line of lovely two-person decisions. I was in the exact same boat as you. My husband has three brothers AND a bazillion best friends (which only made me feel like a total loser because I can count all my friends on one hand). But never fear, my dear! It’s YOUR wedding and you get to have as many bridesmaids as YOU want. It doesn’t matter if you have more groomsmen. What matters is that you know your bridesmaids well enough for them to hold your dress for you while you pee (one of the many overlooked duties of a bridesmaid).

Sara: I know it feels awkward to think about having an uneven group of bridesmaids and groomsmen when you think about it now. But the truth is, it’s not awkward at all. What is awkward is having people you don’t know that well participating in your wedding in such a personal way. I’ve attended loads of weddings where the bridesmaids and groomsmen are not there in equal numbers. Trust me, no one is paying as much attention as you. Most people won’t even notice unless you’re talking about a difference like 10 guys on his side and only two on yours. I say let him have his five, you have your three and it’ll all be better in the end, I promise.

Amy: If you can’t find that final bridesmaid, don’t worry. I agree with Sara, it’s much better to have bridesmaids who you are close to, rather than just someone who “plays” a part. You definitely don’t want to deal with any bridesmaid-zillas or awkwardness with someone who you aren’t close to on your big day. Plus if you choose to stick with three bridesmaids, then you can win brownie points with one of them by allowing two handsome groomsmen escort her down the aisle!

What we’re thinking about this April…

Allison: Re-re-re-re-watching Arrested Development (Best. Show. Ever.), jean short cut-offs, kitties and snow cones

Sara: Our upcoming guide release (theme to be announced!), Trader Joe’s dark chocolate pistachio toffee and this Sahara-inspired Diana camera.

Amy: Springtime visitors, Moop carrier bag and various coffee cake recipes (you’ll find out why next month)

Ask MarryThis!: Momzillas

by Amy on March 27, 2012 in MarryThis! with No comments

moms and weddings

This month’s advice focuses on the woman that gave birth to us …

My mother is driving me crazy with wedding planning! I’m a very low-key bride but my mom is the total opposite. She’s a momzilla, calling me several times a week, sending me links to wedding articles, even texting me photos of “ideas” she has for floral arrangements and centerpieces. As an added bonus, my mom doesn’t exactly have my taste. While I want a casual, laid-back wedding, my mom is more into a high-glamour, girly theme. To make it worse, my parents are paying for the wedding, so I can’t help but feel vulnerable to her demands. I love my mom, but how do I get her to back off without ruining the relationship? – Libby of Nashville, Texas

Allison: Ok, I’m about to be THAT girl, so bear with me a second. First things first, give your nosy Mom a big ol’ daughterly bear hug and put an extra squeeze in there for me too, because many brides (I was one of them) don’t get the luxury of having their mom with them at their wedding. What a wonderful time this is for you! You have a fabulous partner who wants to spend the rest of their life with you, you get to throw a beautiful wedding with financial help, AND your mother is so excited for you she just can’t slow her roll. First world problems, sister. (End guilt trip.)

With that said, I do know how important it is for a bride to feel like she is attending her own wedding and not her mother’s. It sounds like you two are butting heads conceptually. Planning a wedding is hard and new ideas aren’t always welcome during this “brainstorming phase.” Tell your mom that you’ve got it covered, and you’ll let her know when she is needed. And you WILL need her. Believe me, when there’s only three weeks until your wedding and all you need are solid workhorses, Mom will be there stuffing bazillions of favors (that YOU picked out) and smiling the whole time.

Sara: I come from a family of strong women, so I totally understand your dilemma. When I got married, my mom wanted to be very involved too. Take her out to lunch, and let her know the overall style you have in mind for your wedding. Show her an inspiration board so she can see what you’re going for in a visual way. Then, be very specific on the things that are helpful to you and those that aren’t. Maybe once a week, set aside time to work on wedding planning with mom and let her know that during the rest of the week, you need to focus on work and her texts stress you out. She’s your mom — she’ll get it, just remember to be kind. She just wants to be part of your big day!

Amy: Moms love you and always mean the best when they do the things they do. However, when they are off track, it can be hell. There’s a few options here – you can be the strong-willed adult daughter who stands up to your mom and gets all bridezilla at her, declaring to her that, “It’s my day and I get to make the decisions!” but that probably won’t get you far and strain the relationship. It’s best to be upfront but gentle to your mom. Tell her that you love her help and ideas, but that you also want to put in some of your personality and style into your day. Perhaps compromise and let her decide certain items for the wedding, such as the flowers or centerpieces while you concentrate on one part that you really want, like the dress or the food. Family matters are always tricky especially when money is involved, but hopefully you have a strong enough relationship that you can be honest and straight-forward even when the situation is uncomfortable.

What the MarryThis! team is thinking about this month…

Allison: House hunting, herb gardens, German Chocolate Cake Bars

Sara: My trip to London next month, cherry blossoms and Zappos’ new wedding shop

Amy: Chicago’s warm record-breaking temperatures, fresh-smelling candles and spinach smoothies (don’t knock them until you try them!)

Horrible future mother-in-law? Not sure what budget-friendly means for a city wedding? Tell us your problems and we’ll do our best to come up with a solution. Three minds are better than one, right? Ask MarryThis! is a monthly feature, so send your questions to amy@marrythis.com.

Ask MarryThis!:
The Work Dilemma

by Amy on February 15, 2012 in Inspired Ideas with No comments

engagement, ask marrythis!

Some of us love our coworkers like family. And others of us … not so much. But when you spend at least eight hours a day with people, some personal news is bound to get out. Enter February’s Ask MarryThis! question about workplace wedding news.

I recently got engaged. And while I’m elated to share this news with my family and friends, I’m a little less happy to share this news with my coworkers. One, I hate being the center of attention and two, I don’t want to reveal any details of the wedding since I’m sort of a private person. In the past, when one of my coworkers have gotten engaged, everyone makes a huge deal about it and seems to suck up to get an invitation. And it works! I’m so self-conscious about this situation that I haven’t worn my ring at work nor have I told any of my close work friends. I know I can’t hide this news forever but I totally feel like I want to hide under a rock. What should I do? – Anna of Dallas, Texas

Sara: I totally get that you’re a private person, but getting engaged is an exciting time! You don’t have to scream it from the rooftops, but you also shouldn’t keep it totally hidden. Put that stunner on your finger and wear it proudly — when your coworkers ask, tell them in a friendly way: “Yes! I’m engaged!” and leave it at that. You’re entitled to your privacy, but having to hide something so exciting will cast a shadow over this exciting time in your life.

Amy: I’m definitely not a center-of-attention type of girl, so I feel your pain. However, I agree with Sara, it’s OK to wear your ring and be happy that you are engaged at work! If your co-workers are nosy about this new rock, be straightforward and honest. Just say thanks for the congratulations and move onto the next subject. And if your co-workers are getting pushy for an invite, just say that the wedding is small or that it’s just for family and friends. And if they are crazy pushy, you could also get all bridezilla on them, but that might make for an awkward next day…

Allison: To me, it sounds like you’re more worried about saying “no” than boasting about your good news. I spent many years fearing the dreaded “no” and allowed myself to be taken advantage of many times because of it. Stand your ground, girl! “No” does not have to be mean. You can definitely achieve truth from a safe distance with friends and coworkers. One of my favorite quotes on this topic (from Oprah, of course): “Love someone enough to tell them the truth, and respect them enough to know they can handle it.” Now go put that gorgeous rock on your finger and accept those warm fuzzies from your co-workers proudly! And if and when they start fishing for an invitation you’ll know the perfect thing to say … the truth.

What the MarryThis! team is thinking about this month…

Sara: Escaping winter weather on a beach somewhere warm, The Language of Flowers (OMG, so good!), Emoji

Amy: The Black Keys (yes, I came to the bandwagon way later than everyone else), Serious Eats Chicago and Pret A Manger

Allison: Hi Hat Cupcakes, annual Valentine’s Day fondue dinner with my husband, house hunting preparation (what do I even WANT in a house?)

Ask MarryThis!: Who pays?

by Amy on January 24, 2012 in Inspired Ideas with No comments

groom, wedding attire

To start the new year off right, our latest edition of Ask MarryThis! answers one of the big questions that people must deal with at restaurants and weddings – who pays?

I’m not engaged yet, but the relationship I am in is heading that way. And I’m worried about the wedding budget already. I come from a conservative Asian family who believes that my fiancé should pay for the wedding outright. And that’s just not realistic, nor do I want him to take the financial burden alone. What do I do? Should I slip him some of my own money and make it look like he’s paid for it himself? – Kitty of Chicago, Ill.

Amy: To be blunt, you are a grown-up and your fiancé is a grown-up. And sometimes, grown-ups need to make decisions that other people aka parents may not like. Let your parents gently know that it’s not realistic to make your fiancé pay for everything and that your marriage will be based on joint monetary contributions starting with the wedding. After all, down the road, it’s not going to be just him that’s buying a house, paying for kids’ college tuition or saving for retirement.

If you’d like your parents to contribute, negotiate. Say that your fiancé will take care of certain items, such as the wedding reception but not the bridal party attire, or the flowers but not the photography. Also, be honest and open if you are contributing money for the wedding. Be proud of it. The bottom line is you are an adult and your parents should respect you for making decisions like an adult.

Sara: These are the moments when you realize what all that “Bridezilla” talk is about, right? Tricky family situations are usually par for the course with a wedding. I think that a deep breath, a glass of wine and a reality check might be really helpful here.

Talk to your parents honestly (and not in a combative way) about why this is important to you. If your life together is about the contributions you both make (whether that’s money, housework, etc.) then it just makes more sense for you to be contributing to the wedding. Being honest with your parents about that will most likely make it clear to them why you’re not comfortable placing the entire burden on your fiancé. In the end, you’re their daughter and I’m sure your happiness and comfort level is important to them. If they still don’t get it, then I’m with Amy: You’ve got to make the decisions that work for your own life.

Allison: It’s no secret that wedding budgets can be super stressful. A wedding can be a huge burden on any 20-something or 30-something’s budget. I think the best way to go about this situation is transparency. Go to your family outright and ask if they will contribute. If not, maybe they can help in another way, like buying the cake or your dress. Contributing your own money could be a great solution. After all, it’s your day, too.

It’s not necessary to tell your family whether or not your future husband paid for the entire wedding himself (whether you contribute or not). If they want to know where the money is coming from politely tell them that it is taken care of. In the end, remember that your wedding doesn’t have to be expensive to be fabulous! Keep reading MarryThis! for awesome budget ideas. We know your soon-to-be-wedding will be amazing!

What the MarryThis! team is thinking about this month…

Amy: dinner clubs, Kindle books and Sherlock

Sara: Alt Summit, photobooths and comfort food

Allison: unpacking, Pinterest and backyard chickens

Ask MarryThis!:
December edition

by Amy on December 14, 2011 in Inspired Ideas with No comments

MarryThis!

[Above: A little hint from Sara's answer to the third question, below.]

It’s the December edition of Ask MarryThis! To avoid the winter blues, we talk about what makes winter weddings so captivating, our favorite favors and what our team’s plans are for the holidays.

This is a monthly feature, so ask us anything about weddings from budget to fashion tips. Send your questions to amy@marrythis.com.

Winter can be cold, miserable and just damn dreary. So can you explain why a winter wedding rocks?

Allison: Winter weddings have the ability to combine lots of fun and gorgeous textures that you can’t do justice with in other seasons. I love the idea of a vintage lace wedding dress with a thick fur collar. And there’s nothing more handsome than a groom in a tweed or wool jacket and black leather gloves. Add in a 5 o’clock shadow and you’ve reached 100 percent manly man.

Sara: Do you have any idea how much a summer wedding COSTS? It’s insane how much money you can save by booking out-of-season dates. Now that’s just smart planning.

Amy: The idea of a winter wedding is so romantic and magical. Plus, I feel the snow and cold weather somehow makes you more creative and fancy-free with planning. Not only can you save a ton of money, it’s also the slowest time for wedding vendors, so they can give you their full attention.

MarryThis! loves all sorts of favors (DIYs, frugal, edible). What has been the best favor you’ve received at a wedding thus far?

Allison: Ironically, I actually haven’t been to many weddings myself, so I only have a few to compare. I had a few family members donate money on behalf of their guests to the American Cancer Society as a tribute to their father. It was a great symbol of remembrance and also gave me warm fuzzies as a guest.

Sara: Our friends Ryan and Heather made homemade soap for each guest with cute vintage labels on them. They were so sweet — and smelled phenomenal! Confession: At the end of the night, I snagged an extra that another guest had left behind.

Amy: At a friend’s wedding, they handed out small jars of jam with a mini silver spoon tied to each jar. It was so adorable and delicious. I still have the spoon and use it to stir coffee and other warm drinks.

‘Tis the season for travel. Where are you going for the holidays?

Allison: Home! My husband and I have been stationed in Biloxi, Mississippi for the past eight months and we are finally moving back to my hometown of Boise, Idaho. And it’s just in time for Christmas! I couldn’t have asked for a better gift.

Sara: I just got home from an amazing two-week trip to India over Thanksgiving, where I got to shoot a traditional Indian wedding. After all that excitement, I’m excited for a low-key Christmas season, with a quick trip to visit my in-laws in Spokane, Wash.

Amy: Although I’m originally from the Tri-Cities, my family usually gathers at my sister’s home in the Portland, Ore., area for Christmas. So I’m headed back to the Pacific Northwest for a bit of a reprieve from Chicago’s bone-chilling weather.

Sara: And I’m excited to see her.

Ask MarryThis!:
Behind the scenes

by Amy on November 17, 2011 in Inspired Ideas with No comments

Welcome to our first edition of Ask MarryThis! In this column, you ask the questions you’ve always wanted the answers to – from specific wedding advice to silly stuff about the MarryThis! team. This is a monthly feature, so ask away by sending questions to amy@marrythis.com.

Behind the scenes at MarryThis!

What do you do at MarryThis!?
Amy: I am the editor of the MarryThis!, which means I try to make the words that you read sound as pretty and beautiful as the photos and printables that Sara and Allison produce. The key word here is try.
Sara: My job is technically “publisher”, which makes me think of my old boss in the newspaper world, always trying to balance the needs of journalistic integrity and advertisers’ demands. That is not actually at all like my job. Around here, I get to manage a lot of the day-to-day operations of MarryThis! and I also line up our photo shoots and photograph them. It’s super fun.
Allison: I’m the token goober with a dash of graphic design skills. I layout our free, monthly wedding guides, design printables and try to make MarryThis! a beautiful online place to live. My goal is to be in your inter-webs, glamorizing up your screen.

Where do you get your ideas for the blog/guide?
Amy: I get my ideas from everywhere – from the billboard ads on the train to the crazy landlady next door. Really, I do. My landlady had a kickin’ shawl that may be featured in a future blog post as the next trend in bridal attire accessories.
Sara: So many places. A lot of my MarryThis! tips come from my amazing clients. When I’m not here running MarryThis!, I do wedding photography and the people I work with are really inspiring and creative.
Allison: All over. Inspiration is limitless and everywhere! Once you get into the “wedding” mindset it’s really hard NOT to be inspired at every corner. At the moment, my two favorite, most inspirational sites are ColourLovers and Pinterest.

What exactly is MarryThis!? Are you a blog? Are you a guide? Are you aliens plotting to take over the world?
Amy: We’re a wedding blog that also produces awesome free monthly wedding guides for the budget-friendly bride. And we are aliens plotting to take over the world. But try not to tell too many people. They may freak out.
Sara: Yeah, what she said. Also, we’re kind of a vehicle for the three of us old friends to chat all the time behind-the-scenes about things that are pretty. And we love that part too.
Allison: MarryThis! is a kick-ass, one-two punch to the throat of daily wedding inspiration. While we’ll also keep you inspired every day on the blog, our bread and butter is in our free, monthly wedding guides that give brides the in-depth, specific information they need to throw a wedding of their dreams without breaking the bank.

So if you are all live in three different cities, how did you all meet? And why are you working together long-distance?
Amy: Well, we met as former Daily Evergreeners aka newspaper nerds at Washington State University, where we bonded over cold pizza, late nights and AP style. See awesome photos above. And we work together long-distance because we like each other so much. Plus, Skype makes long-distance relationships A LOT easier.
Sara: Daily Evergreen! Yes, we all met at our college newspaper at Wazzu. Back then, we worked well together on a bigger team and now we’re having a blast as a smaller team. I do miss all that cold pizza, though…
Allison: I definitely DON’T miss the cold pizza. Mostly because the only pizza that was ever leftover would have just sauce and pineapple. NO CHEESE. We had to special order for our resident vegan (there’s at least one in every newspaper group). Who DOES that? Not even SOY CHEESE! NO CHEESE AT ALL! It was a cold pizza crime against nature.

All posts tagged Ask MarryThis!